Irony irony irony..

Ironic actually, I remember mumbling to myself everytime a new semester starts that I'm gonna be different this time around. I'm gonna bring something else to the table. I'm gonna present a whole new package. You could say a different brand of the already Great Ian Chong,and at the end of the day, why? Why do I always want to please others to please myself?

Thus far, I've accomplished the trials of trials. I stopped smoking. Which techniquely, do a lot of good for my wallet but by doing so it seems like i lost myself again. I remember about 12 days ago now, I went to bed and something snapped, I'm quiting. The funny thing is there's no reason to it. I'm doing it without motivation or with any intent for that matter. But, why? I've been through utter misery and for what? The first 3 days was hellacious to say the least. I was shivering, ever thirsty and cold. It wasn't cool. And now I get tempted everywhere I go. I thought it would be easier by now.

I figured, I've lost myself again. after years of self discovery, I'm back to square one. Answer me this, who am I? What am I?

cHaoz the Maoz ppl.
Have a smoky life..